Feelings

*sigh* Have you ever painted a picture that you liked SO much but at the very end decide to add something, and that very element fucked up your entire piece??

Yeah.

Me and Jessie talked tonight and it was amazing, and we laughed and had so much fun.. even got a little.. naughty =P But anyways, I fucked it all up at the very end because I thought he was messing around with someone else on Facebook. =( It's so dumb, I shouldn't have gotten so frazzled about it. It said he was super-poking "private" which I thought meant that they set it so that other people couldn't see who they were... and they were doing things back and fourth to eachother like "spooning" and "biting"... and yeah you get the freaken point. Well, I thought it was someone else, and the jealous, self-concious, paranoid, hot-headed part of me got the best of me and I sort of expressed that to Jesse...

And it turns out that the "private" person was just ME. Cuz we did do those things and then I deleted the app. =(

But I'm just SO mad at myself cuz I know he wouldn't do that to me!! HE LOVES ME! Grrrr. Great, I bet now he's gonna go to bed and start thinking different things about me. I'm not like this all the time. But it's just, what was I suppossed to think, it would have said my name but i completely forgot I deleted the app! Plus I've been cheated on before.

He seemed irritated at me. I don't blame him either. =( Babe i know it was a mis-understanding, but it was all my fault and I feel so stupid and I love you UNCONDITIONALLY.

If you were with me right now I'd hug you and kiss you ALLL ovaah! Till the night closes in, till the night closes in!! You're my guardian angel. Did I ever tell you you're my inspiration for everything lately?? Jesse, I see you in the sky, the trees, especially the stars.

Love ALWAYS,
*Vanessa xoxo